Right now, I’m scared. I have no idea what to do, and my stomach is a whirlwind of anxiety.
Why I am I like this right now? Because of the vast immensity of the future, that’s why. I feel so bad complaining about having the opportunities for various paths in my life, because I know some people don’t have that, but it doesn’t mean it scares me any less.
Lately, I have been planning to move back to Melbourne, as I am now living in Auckland, NZ, via a trip to the UK and Europe to visit my best friend. My heart is fully in Melbourne, so it isn’t the thought of going back that is scaring me, actually that is all kind of falling into place. It is actually my art business and career that is worrying me.
How bloody pathetic does that sound?
Social media platforms, such as Youtube and Instagram, that were once some of the most helpful for smaller artists and creators, are making it more and more difficult to actually be seen. I’m not complaining about not being instafamous or whatever, I actually don’t give two shits about that. It’s more, that was the way to network, and get your art seen, to sell your art, and it’s becoming increasingly more difficult.
As it not long until I go away, I am struggling to decide if it is even worth trying to grow my business. I want to set up an online store, and I would like to start streaming on twitch creative, but is it even worth it, if I am just going to then leave them for the couple of months I am gone and then getting settled? It seems like a waste of months I could be building those sites. I am not going to be able to create as often while I am away, or at least not to the extent I can now (as I won’t have all of my art supplies with me), so I don’t really know what to do.
To be honest with you, I don’t even know why I am writing and posting this. Usually, writing helps me get out what I am feeling and sort out my emotions a bit, but even writing this post took a few re-writes.
If I don’t work on my business now, is it going to be too late in the future? Oh if I wait, id that going to be the better thing to do? What if I pick the wrong one? I kind of wish life had a bloody road map.